Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Thoughts. Fucking Thoughts.

thoughts...what are thoughts but mere suggestions in your mind.

so what if you keep them bottled inside?

they will only turn into a rhyme.

so use it on the next one

see if she will care for

a little mess on the floor

or maybe having her eyes stare at the bed board.

yea.you might not have meant to

but u sure made me feel like a fool

for trusting someone like you

and now my body feels overused.

but thats alright isnt it?

as long as i pleased your body nd shit.

if i stop that from happening to another.

maybe it was worth biting my tongue a little bit longer.

too bad i wasnt a little bit more faded.

cuz now i got illusions when i sleep that dont seem to b endin

now ill give it a rest

you have failed my test

took advantage of the maiden

now she lookin for her heaven

while she wishes u the best

nd hopes this doesnt repeat for the next.

Remember my words

they may just be chords.

but listen to the message

maybe you can salvage

the last of humanity

with the touch of sincerety and prosperity.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Little girl

A little girl cried for her moma. "moma! why do u hurt me so? am i not enough to please you? oh mama i wish you could smile for me... im sorry moma but i think its best for the both of us if i went goodbye.."

she was sick of the fight, of the crying, and the feeling of worthlessness. The little girl packed her backpack and took everything she could hold. Her stuffed puppy accompanied her as she stuffed her pocket with pennies.

"It's ok Hope... we'll find a home somewhere soon..you'll see. its just you and me now..." That little girl held her friend so tightly and silently sent a prayer to the clouds up above and started walking down the hall to her new freedom.

Her moma lies asleep now, cuddled in all the blankets and sleeping peacefully. The little girl kissed her moma's forehead and whispered words of love. She stood up straight and held her head up as she left a wrinkled note on her moma's bedside table.

Leaving quickly that girl opened the front door carefully and slipped out into the dark, cold night. The girl started walking, smiling at the world unknowing. Her companion looked up at her with dead eyes as the little girl sang for her comfort. " We will find a home one day, one day someone will turn to us and say, you have come home now, so dont feel low, or is home something you dont know?"

Im so confused...i dont know what to do or think. Well...more like i dont know whom to trust. In my entire life i have been told that i was nothing. but isnt being nothing something? and if it is does anyone know what? no one in my life has been able to explain it to me...so will i ever truly know the worth of my shell?

Hollywood Undead - Bullet

Im not suicidal... at least not in the moment but this song hit a chord with me and i love the tune, bring me back to the days when the beatles rang in my ears and took me away for the modern world.

"i wish that i could fly, way up in the sky, like a bird so high, i might just try. i might just try" i really wish i could. ive been trying to long to please the people beside me and its growing to be a pain. i want to please myself now. im saying goodbye to the old me and reforming to a little selfishness and choose to let some people take care of me...