Understanding what we are missing or what we arent.

That moment when someone texts you and you respond without knowing who they are. >< I wish I could remember everyone, but at the same time I wish I couldn't remember a single thing. Start out fresh you know?  To start off fresh new...how great would that be? I'm jealous of babies... so innocent and so curious about everything. They are able to look at the world unknowingly happy and even though they cant express themselves quite yet. They don't have to. You can tell almost anything from their eyes and its that sweet innocence that I miss the most. Not knowing a thing about hurt or know a thing about danger and deceit.

Flyleaf ~ Again

                                                                         "Again"

I love the way that your heart breaks
With every injustice and deadly fate
Praying it all will be new
And living like it all depends on you

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

Love that you're never satisfied
With face value wisdom and happy lies
You take what they say and go back and cry
You're so close to me that you nearly died

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

They don't have to understand you
Be still
Wait and know I understand you
Be still
Be still
Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
The floodgates are breaking and pouring out

Here you are down on your knees
Trying to find air to breathe
Right where I want you to be again
I love you please see and believe again

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
Right where I want you to be again
See and believe!

Thoughts. Fucking Thoughts.

thoughts...what are thoughts but mere suggestions in your mind.

so what if you keep them bottled inside?

they will only turn into a rhyme.

so use it on the next one

see if she will care for

a little mess on the floor

or maybe having her eyes stare at the bed board.

yea.you might not have meant to

but u sure made me feel like a fool

for trusting someone like you

and now my body feels overused.

but thats alright isnt it?

as long as i pleased your body nd shit.

if i stop that from happening to another.

maybe it was worth biting my tongue a little bit longer.

too bad i wasnt a little bit more faded.

cuz now i got illusions when i sleep that dont seem to b endin

now ill give it a rest

you have failed my test

took advantage of the maiden

now she lookin for her heaven

while she wishes u the best

nd hopes this doesnt repeat for the next.

Remember my words

they may just be chords.

but listen to the message

maybe you can salvage

the last of humanity

with the touch of sincerety and prosperity.

Little girl

A little girl cried for her moma. "moma! why do u hurt me so? am i not enough to please you? oh mama i wish you could smile for me... im sorry moma but i think its best for the both of us if i went goodbye.."

she was sick of the fight, of the crying, and the feeling of worthlessness. The little girl packed her backpack and took everything she could hold. Her stuffed puppy accompanied her as she stuffed her pocket with pennies.

"It's ok Hope... we'll find a home somewhere soon..you'll see. its just you and me now..." That little girl held her friend so tightly and silently sent a prayer to the clouds up above and started walking down the hall to her new freedom.

Her moma lies asleep now, cuddled in all the blankets and sleeping peacefully. The little girl kissed her moma's forehead and whispered words of love. She stood up straight and held her head up as she left a wrinkled note on her moma's bedside table.

Leaving quickly that girl opened the front door carefully and slipped out into the dark, cold night. The girl started walking, smiling at the world unknowing. Her companion looked up at her with dead eyes as the little girl sang for her comfort. " We will find a home one day, one day someone will turn to us and say, you have come home now, so dont feel low, or is home something you dont know?"

Im so confused...i dont know what to do or think. Well...more like i dont know whom to trust. In my entire life i have been told that i was nothing. but isnt being nothing something? and if it is does anyone know what? no one in my life has been able to explain it to me...so will i ever truly know the worth of my shell?

Hollywood Undead - Bullet

Im not suicidal... at least not in the moment but this song hit a chord with me and i love the tune, bring me back to the days when the beatles rang in my ears and took me away for the modern world.

"i wish that i could fly, way up in the sky, like a bird so high, i might just try. i might just try" i really wish i could. ive been trying to long to please the people beside me and its growing to be a pain. i want to please myself now. im saying goodbye to the old me and reforming to a little selfishness and choose to let some people take care of me...

Confusion

i dont understand anything,,, its as tho a huge part of my life has disappeared in thin air....is that possible? is it possible for everything u once knew to be gone...and only in a matter of seconds?

why is it that when i see the name like "Leo" it hurts so much? my chest is burning and i dont know how to mend it or bring it at ease... its almost like i was knew this person nd they did something wrong.... could it be i was hurt by this person or that this person meant a lot to me? what do all these flashes mean?

i have been brought into the world to serve. to serve well for that is what i was taught. to serve others with kindness and respect...why would someone want to hurt me for that? could it be that the world i was brought in...is truly evil?